Is it time to continue our attempts to assassinate Saddam Hussein or
time to sic a world-famous bounty hunter on him who will bring the
"bad guy" to justice in handcuffs. Find out why we should sic
the Dog on Saddam as an act of Vigilance.
24, 2003—Ground Zero Plus 650
Or, Siccing A Bounty Hunter On Him?
Editor, New York City Combat Correspondent News
GROUND ZER0, New York, N.Y.--June 24,
2003-- I'm growing weary of killing Saddam Hussein. It seems
almost daily, I hear how we think we killed him, or tried to.
And, the worst of it is--he always escapes. Maybe its time to
sic one of the world's best bounty hunters on him.
Saddam is like
an evil Plastic Man escaping........
When I was a kid there was
a comic book character called Plastic Man. He could change
shapes and slide under doors and ooze through keyholes.
He was like an amoeba, constantly slithering in and out of danger.
and Saddam are amoebae slithering in and out of danger
however, was a Super Hero, not a Super Villain as Saddam Hussein is.
Unfortunately, Plastic Man died. His appeal
to the world of comic book super heroes wasn't strong enough to match
that of Superman and Batman, or even the most recent craze, The Hulk.
If the United States is the League of
Justice--a collection of super heroes from Marvel Comics led by
Captain America--then Saddam Hussein is pretending to be Plastic Man's
evil counterpart. He's escaping the clutches of justice as all
arch rivals must to keep the story of "good" vs. "evil" alive.
.............Captain America and the U.S. League of Justice
latest attack on Saddam didn't make much of blip on my
"Get-The-Bad-Guy" radar screen. I ho-hummed at it. Part of
the reason is I'm getting tired of the idea of "trying to kill" the
The first night of the Iraqi War I
was sure the thousands of pounds of bombs had found their target when
they rocked one of Saddam's Palaces where he and his sons were
allegedly planning to defend Baghdad. Then there was the
subsequent restaurant attack with our bunker-blasting laser-guided
"blow-them-to-hell" mega-power explosives ripping the guts out of
earth's womb, only to find out later that nowhere in the rubble could
be found a finger, toe, chunk of an ear, an eyelash or a pubic hair to
confirm Saddam's DNA.
The latest assassination
attempt, conducted last Wednesday, targeted Saddam in a vehicle. But
no head has rolled down the streets of Baghdad, or been stuck on a
pole and paraded so that the world can expel a deep sigh of relief
that our attempts to "kill the Butcher of Baghdad" have come full
Maybe it's time to call out the "Dog."
Fifty-year-old Duane "Dog"
Chapin, that is.
The "Dog," as he is called, has
a nose for criminals since he is a convicted murderer turned bounty
hunter, turned Christian. After being released from
prison, the "Dog" had a conversion. He decided to use his
felonious instincts to sniff out bad guys. Thousands of bail
jumpers felt his fangs when he bit into them with handcuffs and hauled
them off to jail, collecting his 10 percent of the bail.
reviewing pictures of Andrew Luster before his capture
work for bail agents, tracking down those who fail to show up in court
after bail has been posted. They usually are paid 10 to 15
percent of the bail amount. It's a deal because bail companies
lose the full amount to the court if a fugitive fails to show up for
His most recent success was
capturing Andrew Luster, Max Factor heir, who jumped bail rather than
start serving a 124-year sentence for rape in California.
The Dog captured Luster in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico and ended up in
jail himself. Mexico, unlike the United States, isn't big on
The top choice
to sniff out Saddam is the "Dog"
the Dog doesn't have to spend "hard time" for kidnapping charges in
some Mexican prison, the U.S. ought to rub an old Saddam hat in the
Dog's face and drop him into Baghdad. If there's anyone
who can sniff out the bad guy, the top choice has to be the "Dog."
However, to unleash the Dog on
Saddam would be a slap in the CIA's, Special Operations', FBI's, and a
host of other U.S. military and government intelligence cadres.
The Dog, with his long-hair and
swaggering ex-con style, cuts a profile contrary to what the United
States would like to present to the world.
So, if the U.S. wants the kudos
that go along with capturing the "bad guy," then how about siccing the
Dog on finding the Weapons of Mass Destruction.
Saddam and his
WMDs might be hiding in the desert sands
assume that Saddam buried vials of evil content in safe places in his
California-sized country of 24 million. Well, the
bloodhound nature of the Dog would not let the shifting sands of Iraq
stand in his way. If he can capture one of the most
elusive and high-profile bail jumpers such as Lester, the odds are
more favorable for him to root out the truffles of Saddam's WMD cache
than all the power and might of tens of thousands of U.S. military and
intelligence personnel digging madly through the sands.
There are certainly big things
at stake for the Dog to be let loose on the WMDs. The
world is critical of the U.S. intelligence, and is attacking the
President and Administration on the grounds that the WMD's were a ruse
used to legitimize the unilateral actions of the U.S. to launch war on
Iraq. Of course, these critics forget that even the U.N.
confirmed the weapons were there, and the ejection of their WMD
inspection teams that led up to the war suggested Saddam was hiding,
or attempting to hide such weapons. The history of his use
of them on his own people is well recorded, but none of those facts
seem to stop the critics from slinging slime at the Administration,
or, for some, even calling for the President's impeachment if is
confirmed he had directed the jerry rigging of intelligence data on
If I were the President,
I would have airdropped in mobile labs of WMD-filled vans created by
the CIA when the war ended, and then "found" evidence of the WMDs.
While not quite Hoyle, it would have quashed all the
"kick-the-Iraqi-sand-in-the-President's-face" attempts to make the
U.S. look like its intelligence and military had no veracity when it
comes to infiltrating the enemy camp.
But now, it may be "Dog Time!"
In desperate times, desperate
measures are often necessary.
Working a deal with Mexico to
drop charges, and giving the Dog an Iraqi Dog Run, might solve all the
President's WMD problems.
Okay, so let's assume the
government doesn't want the Dog near Iraq.
We have at least one other job
All this started with a
6-4-inch guy named Osama bin Laden.
He's still on the lam.
still searching for bin Laden
The least we can do with a vital natural resource such as the "Dog" is
to rub Osama's turban in his face so he's a good sniff of guy, and can
start sniffing him out.
What's cool about Dog, is
that he brings his guy back alive.
The military is out to
"kill" Saddam and Osama, which kind of soils our image.
I think about kids sitting in
front of the television hearing about our "fouled attempts" to kill
the two bad guys of the Mid-East.
It seems to endorse the
idea that to resolve an issue with an enemy, you hunt them down and
kill them. You don't hear much discussion about
When the U.S. public ally
sanctions killing and assassination, I get chills. I just
don't know how I can explain to my grandchildren the righteousness of
Every time I hear news
about the Palestinian-Israeli conflict, it's "the eye-for-an-eye"
message. One side kills and immediately the other side kills.
It's a deadly ping-pong game with the only winner being the Beast of
Terror who thrives on people's blood, especially the innocent.
Dog Chapin can change
While he may not cut the
mold as a Sentinel of Vigilance, in a way, he is. He
doesn't go on his missions to "kill" his prey. He's
after them for the reward.
For American children, a
bounty hunter who risks his life to get the bad guy without killing
him is refreshing. It's red-white-and-blue material.
Plus, the Dog is a symbol
that a child can change. Say a child has had a rough time--maybe
bad grades, or run-ins with the law. Often a kid thinks
he's stuck in a rut, or buried in a self-image of "bad" that can never
Dog breaks that mold.
He shifted from being a criminal to hunting them. He
turned a life of crime into a life of Justice-seeking. Sure, he
gets a reward, but the American Way is you get something for all your
efforts. We don't look down on achievement, medals, money or
fame and fortunes as rewards for hard work. Dog changed
his life. Rumor has it his name spelled backwards is code
Putting Dog on the
trail of Saddam, bin Laden or the WMD would boost not weaken the U.S.
image worldwide. It would be refreshing and supportive to our
children to watch a bounty hunter seeking to capture the worst
criminals in the world with handcuffs rather than blowing them into a
million pieces and trying to match up DNA.
I'd love to see Dog on
television telling us all how he snuck into Saddam's bedroom one night
and cuffed him in behalf of the League of Justice.
He'd make The Hulk and
Spiderman look like wimps.
Chapin is a Sentinel of Vigilance
A Sentinel of Vigilance employs the tools of Courage, Conviction, and
Right Actions for future generations. A Beast of
Terror uses Fear, Intimidation and Complacency to tyrannize anyone at
formula, the Dog's search for and capture of either Saddam or bin
Laden would qualify for the Sentinel kudos.
Anyone who could
single-handedly capture--ALIVE--the worst criminals of modern times,
and march them in handcuffs into the living rooms of the world,
boasting while he did it that he learned from his mistakes that he,
the Dog, learned how to evolve from a Beast of Terror into a Sentinel
of Vigilance, why what a lesson that would be to the world and to the
"The Dog arresting Saddam"
Instead of seeing America as an assassin-nation whose only resolution
to justice was killing the criminals, the Dog would assuage that
image. Walking handcuffed Saddam or bin Laden in front of
him down the streets would serve to humiliate the leaders.
Killing them would only give them martyr status.
So, if I were a
Presidential advisor, I would slip up to the President when no one was
looking and whisper: "Sic the Dog on them, George. Sic Dog
Chapin on them. He'll help you win the election because
he'll bring them to justice. Deputize him today and insure
your second term."
He comes from a
state of bounty hunters.
And, he knows, if
he doesn't find Saddam or bin Laden or the WMD, there's a bounty on
his head. And, it will be collected at the voting booths.
23 -No Child Left Behind: Government's Or Parent's Role?
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